I Beseech Thee, Land-Lord, for Thy Forbearance with Rently Payments

Well-beloved Land-Lord, I write in accordance with thy notice of January 23, 1353, titled, “Warning to Pay Rents or Quit.” I do know that thou artwork a noble land-lord, and I’m however an executable tenant. It is claimed that God Himself decreed it so, in personal talks with ye lords long-ago. There-fore didst thou inherit … Read more

Excuse Me, Do You Have a Permit for This Outdoor Proposal?

Sorry, I do not imply to break however I suppose this was once all authorized by means of the town? I simply could not assist however understand that this marriage proposal of yours is a little of an operation. You picked the centermost level of this park to invite your little query and when you … Read more

‘Twas the Night earlier than Christmas, Uh, Four Weeks Ago

,Tis a number of weeks past Christmas whilst you noticeYou forgot it totally—doggone it, time flies!The neglected calls and texts, the items at your doorNow all of it is smart, what they had been concerned aboutHow did you transform Catherine O’Hara screaming “Kevin!”?Ah, sure! A five-day binge of Gilmore seasons one thru sevenStarted at the … Read more

Guy Who’s Been Going to the Gym for One Week Answers Your Questions

Let’s be fair: the health club will also be complicated, even daunting for rookies. But do not be concerned! I’ve been going to the health club for an entire week and am right here to respond to your steadily requested questions. What will have to I put on to the health club? Throw on that … Read more

Peloton Instructors Coach You Through Your Mediocre New Year’s Resolutions

“What’s up, hustlers! I see you leaving that cup of water in the corner of your desk untouched. That’s no way to keep up a hydration machination. So we’re gonna start small together. Grab your glass and take a sip in 3… 2… 1. Nice! You’ll be at a gallon in no time!” “Your journey … Read more

January’s Poor Performance Will No Longer Be Tolerated

Dear January, As you already know, it is the coverage of the Calendar Council to habits formal efficiency critiques of the 12 trade devices yearly. This yr, we have moved to a 360-degree comments machine to assemble feedback and critiques out of your peer months, reporting days, and different key stakeholders like vacations and primary … Read more

I Beg of You, Please: Don’t Order a Medium Soda

Greetings, madam, please forgive the wait. It’s been moderately an afternoon right here on the multiplex. You see, we had a small fireplace. How small? Oh, I might say the scale of a fist. But in fact, it is been handled. How? Let’s simply say I’m now not afraid to battle fireplace with fireplace. But … Read more

Five Tips for Being Locked in a Trunk

I, Lou Critelli, am probably the most biggest mafia snitches of all time. I’ve additionally been locked in a trunk such a lot of occasions I’m startin’ to suppose I’m a collection of jumper cables! But critically, it might occur to any individual. Let’s say that most likely you “stumbled on” the native waste remedy … Read more

It’s Me, the Sitcom Laugh Track. Just Admit It: You Miss Me

Lucy, you were given some ‘splainin’ to do! I’m simply kidding. Hey, you guys! It’s me, the sitcom snigger observe. How you doin’? No, how you doin’? Gah, I’ll prevent! But critically: I’m no longer doing so neatly. What took place to us?! It appears like handiest the day before today I used to be … Read more

All the Species Darwin Discovered within the Galapagos Islands, and How They Tasted

September seventeenth, 1835 Oh, how effective it feels to set my toes upon forged land as soon as once more! After months at sea, the Beagle reached the Galapagos Islands previous this morning. First prevent, San Cristóbal. September 18th What superb attractions may also be hung on those far away shores! Everywhere I flip, the … Read more

My Life Is Flashing Before My Eyes, however the Cinematography Is Terrible

I by no means concept it was once true what they are saying, that your lifestyles flashes ahead of your eyes you probably have a near-death enjoy. But there I used to be, dangling off the threshold of a cliff, with out my pants, surrounded through magpies seeking to peck me to dying, and likely … Read more

Forget Magic Beans, I Will Trade You These NFTs for Your Mother’s Only Milking Cow

Whello, hi Jack and just right morning! Yes, it’s abnormal that I do know your identify, seeing as how we have now by no means met! Strange and lovely! And the place are you off to this positive morning? Selling your mom’s handiest cow! What a useful son you’re! And since you are so useful, … Read more